Mom, Are You Frazzled?

Is there a mom on the planet whoisn’t?

It seems to me that being frazzled is oneof those standard expectations of motherhood. Darlene Hull of the Mom-Defrazzleragrees.

By her own admission, Darlene Hull is nota naturally nurturing sort of person. She has little to no skill in the kitchen, struggles to  balance a chequebook, and couldn’t decorate ahome if her life depended on it.  Shedoes not bake cookies, is frustrated by noise, and is a lazyperfectionist.  Not much there to basemothering on.

In her life as a mother on two continentsin two languages, spanning 14 years so far, Darlene has learned what it takesto cope with living day after day in her apparent weaknesses, instead of in herstrengths. 

Her secrets?

1.     Accentuate the Positive:  Pay attention to what IS working.  Have you had a fun time playing with yourkids?  Did you manage to brush yourteeth?  Can you find clean socks?  Whatever it is, pay attention to that, insteadof what’s NOT working.

2.     Diminish the Negative:  What can you remove or reduce?  Where can you get an extra hand (there aresome cool, cheap and creative ways to do this, if you’re open to finding them).

3.     Focus on what you have to offer.  Always remind yourself that you are theparent of this child because they need what you’re good at to succeed inlife.  They probably also need to see youstruggle through areas that you’re NOT good at, to learn how to do that, as well.  Are you independent?  Creative? Easy-going?  Highly organized?Offer that cheerfully to your kids.

4.     Know That There is NO RIGHT WAY to Parent.  Everyone, and every stylehas their own unique strengths and weaknesses. Once you know your strengths accentuate them!  Once you know your weaknesses, check outpoint number two.

5.     Remember to Have Fun and Laugh. A lot. At the end of the day, the most important thing is that your child knowsyou love them.  That’s it.  That’s the whole thing.  Spend time enjoying each other.  Laughing together over everything (includingyourself!) and learning the art of life from each other! If you can do that,you are succeeding beautifully!

6.     It’s ok to ask for help.  None of us can do this alone. We all have different strengths and weaknesses.  Use the strengths of those around you to helpyou in your areas of weakness.  Offeryour strength to others who are struggling.

We’re all in this together, ladies!  We might as well enjoy the ride!  If you’re interested in some hands-onpractical ideas for coping with mothering, join Darlene on September 28, 2007for her “Mom-Defrazzling”workshop.  Watch this site for details.

Happy Defrazzling!